I come up with a mandatory birthday post, it has become a habit I desperately try to keep up. Come on, it’s a once in a year blogpost, you can do this, I tell myself. It may seem hard at first but once you click on new post, your fingers take on their own rhythm. This one is short.
Mum is 21 years old in the above photo, carrying a 1 year old little me. Now, her little daughter is 21 years old, looking back at her at her eye level. This photo triggered much reflection and realisation. Life’s a circle ain’t it:)
I asked my mum and she said, out of all my achievements, my children are the biggest. I hope I am worth all her sacrifice, all her duas she asked during pregnancy (there is a hadith about duas asked by mother of Mary during her pregnancy, story for another day).
Being 21 to me isn’t big, I have already experienced some parts of the adult life and responsibility earlier. This 21 is about my own path. I don’t think Mummy will agree with everything I do for we are two parallel people with different ways of thinking that will never intersect. Two different worlds, different aspirations, different attitudes, different dreams but the same values. I hope she sees that. The precarious balance of satisfying both worlds and achieving my own dreams seems like one huge boulder and I want to do what my mum wants. But come on, we both know they aren’t gonna match and you are never too old to not meet your parents’ expectations. It takes courage to do what I want and I think I’m ready.
This is also my buffer year before turbulence sets in in 2018.Too many people entering my life after this. Argh… I usually ask Allah swt for protection, guidance, strength but this year, I would like to ask for little bit of happiness too before the storm sets in. To ask for something, first you need the requirement(or latchanam we call it in Tamil). Before you ask God for happiness, you should have given up something for someone, done a selfless deed etc before you ask , “I want happiness”. And of course, you are supposed to view happiness with the same mentality as suffering. I ain’t there yet but I am shamelessly asking God for happiness, come on, you can ask God for anything and he won’t judge you:)